Monkey Sausage

It's Mothers Day!! I have received the best unexpected gift ever....My husband and both children are asleep!! HAHA!
I can't believe it has actually been over a year since I have talked to Debbie or Tony. (My mother and father.) I wish I had done this years ago, but apparently things happen exactly how they're supposed to happen, if that makes sense.
You can only put your hand in a mouse trap so many times before you get rid of the mouse trap entirely and deal with the trap wounds that are already there.
Write that down. LOL.
Something random here (imagine that) I have been having issues with my eyes off and on for the last year. I have been to my eye doc probably 6 times this past year because of eye infections in one or the other eye or both at the same time.
What is causing these infections is my eyes don't tear up anymore. A normal person's eye is refreshed each time they blink. He said my eye acts like it has Rain-X on it. I blink, and my tears just dissipate into a small ball on my eye. It's weird.
Anyway, I told Dan, "How fitting. I get rid of Debbie and now I can't cry anymore!"
I wanted to get a teardrop tattoo on my face but Dan said that means I have murdered somebody. Apparently he speaks 'Thug.'
Represent!!
Anyway, Happy Mothers Day to all the real mothers out there - to the women who step up to the plate when children's natural mothers cast them aside.
God Bless Bonnie Barr, Pam Shouse and Nora Crowe - you ladies hold a special place in my heart and don't even know it.

Turn the page . . . ..

Wow...I can't believe it's been over a year since I have typed anything on here. Looking back over what I wrote I realize how far I have come in this short amount of time. I look forward to getting back into the groove of blogging (ok, rambling) and cannot wait for what lies ahead.

Love to all...
Mel

487 Kinds o' Tired

Has it been forever or what? FOR REAL, DAWG!!
I'm tired of feeling like I have something to prove. I'm tired of feeling like I have to 'look' a certain way. I am ME. I was born Melissa Marie. I often think that if I change my name, would my slate really be cleaned? The people that I care about would know, obviously...but I'd love to say, "No, you must be thinking of someone else. I did not go to school with you." Because you know what? If you weren't my friend then, when I needed you, then fk you now. There are people that I run into on Myspace and send "friend requests" and/or messages to, and ONE in particular did not respond. Their profile boasts that they are on Myspace to 'talk to people I care about.' Well you know what? I don't really care if you respond, it's not about that. It's a fking message just catching up on the last 10+ years. I'm not asking for a kidney. Plus, you've aged tons since high school and I'd be forced to ask you who you were if you responded back now just to be a dick.
You dont impress me. I dont care what you do for a living and what kind of car you drive or how many kids you have. The people that I want to share this stuff with, know that stuff about me. I LOVE giving what I get.
I actually told a coworker last week, "When you do **&%*#%&*#(%&*%&, it really pisses me off and is annoying, and I'm not the only one that thinks that." And they apologized, because they never realized that about themself. It felt good - not to be mean, but to say, "Hey you....FKING STOP!"
I am tired tired tired tired of my fking pity parties. I feel like my good friend Karee because I've said "fuck" about 38529058 times, but it feels so good to just get it out. Now I know why she does it.
I might just change my name and wear cool Chuck Taylors like Amy O. and I might just LIVE for once for ME and I dont care if you stare because it just means that there's something about me that YOU are lacking in yourself. Take a fking picture because I'm not going back to where I was.
Fuckin' A.

Bah-Gok! How do you spell the sound a chicken makes?

Chicken patties. I fixed chicken patties tonight and that even sends me into a sad state. They used to eat Banquet chicken patties ALL the time. Forgot about that until just now. The smell in the house, getting them out of the oven.....This is getting either very pathetic and sad, or just......I DONT KNOW. Am I the only person who, if one particular day they are feeling happy and all is right in the world, thinks to themselves, "Man, I wish I felt like this all the time..." or do people really feel 'that way' all the time? What will make this stop?
1. Get her out of your life. Check.
2. Get therapy to help sort this crap out. Check.
You think: Problem solved....but it isn't. Now, she's not there. She's not a worry. This woman that always has caused me drama (and everybody else in contact) is no longer a worry, and my husband thinks THAT is my problem. I don't have anybody or anything to worry about............except me.............and I am learning to deal with that.
Fine...something funny: Poopfarts.

Whatever happened to the Peggy Mitchell show?

I wanted to be on the Peggy Mitchell show. You know you need to get outside more often when you're watching "Jack's Big Music Show" with your family and saying, "We never had all this...all we had was Peggy Mitchell and that gay King Friday!" but you know I got to thinking...Peggy Mitchell was the sh*t when I was little. I wanted to be on the Peggy Mitchell show and/or Carol Burnett show. Ok, fine. The Muppets too, because I really believed you could GO SEE the Muppets and sit in the audience. Shutup. I miss childhood innocence.
I got upset watching "Extreme Home Makeover" last night because there was this preacher who lived in a trailer and converted his garage into a "recreation center" for the local kids to come and hang out and stay out of trouble. This man to be is the bomb because trust me, you have NO idea the impact you have on children. I have a list of 4 names...4 mothers of friends of mine at different stages of my life that were actually well, motherly to me. It made me break down and cry last night watching this preacher dude. He said "You don't need a million dollars in the bank and a huge mansion to care for a child. All you need is a heart and to tell them that they ARE somebody." I can't wait for the day when I don't think about how worthless I felt growing up. I can't wait until that is all gone. I'm working on that.
I don't know if getting all of it down on paper (as in a journal or well, this blog) would help me, or maybe hypnotism? I'd be too embarrassed to get hypnotized. I'd probably ramble too long about my Wierd Al fantasies.
Me: *waking up from hypnotism* "So, how'd it go?"
Doc: "Something about vaseline and Pat Benetar. Get out of my office."
Anyhoo...something that seems so easy is the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with...HAPPINESS. I have rid myself of hurtful people, our bills are paid, I have a wonderful patient husband and 2 great kids......and am still struggling emotionally. Inner demons suck ass!!! Hehe. Sorry.
This is the hardest thing to say.....because I just don't 'believe' like some people, but is life easier with Faith? Why would you want to give your problems to someone else?

I LOVE THIS.....*author unknown*

To whom it may concern,

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.

*i have decided i would like to accept the responsibilities of a 5 year old again

*i would like to go to McDonald’s and think that it is a 4 star restaurant

*i want to sail sticks across a mudd puddle and make ripples in a pond with rocks.

*i want to think M&M’s are better than money because you can eat them

*i want to lie under a big oak tree and watch the ants run up its trunk

*i want to run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer’s day

*i want to think a quarter is worth more than a dollar because it’s prettier and weighs more

*i want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes. When i didn’t know what i know now. When all i knew was to be happy because i was blissfully unaware of all the things that should make me worry.

*i want to think the world is fair

*i want to think that everyone is honest and good. And i want to believe that anything is possible

*i want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again

*i don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor’s bills, gossip, illness, and the loss of loved ones

*i want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, dreams, the imagination, Santa, the tooth fairy, a kiss that makes the boo boo go away, making angels in the snow, and that my dad and Superman are the strongest people in the world.



So .....here’s my checkbook and my car keys and my credit cards and bills too, my
401k statements, my stocks and bonds, my collections, my insurance premiums, my job, my house and the payments too, my email address, cell phone, computer and watch. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this with me further then you’ll have to catch me first, cause.....



"Tag!!"..

"You’re It!!"

It puts you in perspective....

Say a prayer for Curt and Megan Wimp. Megan was 22 weeks pregnant and has discovered that they have lost little Miss Olivia Reese. There is a reason for everything, even though we may not know it now. Rest in Peace, Livy Poo. We love you.