Thursday, February 14, 2008

I only go to New China for the Fortune Cookies

I am so weird. Tonight we ordered ham and pineapple pizza because I'm awesome and it's my husband's favorite. I don't like pineapple, so on 1/2 we just got ham, because as we all know, I love my meat. Bwhahahahaha! Sorry, couldn't resist. Anyway, a piece of pineapple made its way onto my 1/2, unbeknownst to me. I am a weird eater. I only like about 5 foods, mainly because I'm allergic to everything else. Don't even attempt to get me to try your favorite pasta salad or cucumber dip or whatnot...it will not happen. Dan took me to eat chinese once, which wasn't all that bad, but I don't eat any of the 'chinese' food per se'. I eat the chicken, potatoes, and the mozzerella cheese sticks. Every time. I will not like a food simply for it's looks and/or texture. Shrimp is a good example here. I don't want to feel a food "break" in my mouth. I don't like watermelon because of it's funky texture. I don't like mustard because it stinks. You feel me? Anyway, once I bit into this pineapple on my 400 degree pizza, I about tossed my cookies. I don't want fruit on my pizza. If I wanted something healthy, why would I be eating pizza? If I wanted fruit, why wouldn't I just have a fruit salad, or a can of fruit cocktail? Do people add shreds of ham to their fruit cocktail?
It's like ordering a Big Mac, large fries and a Diet coke. If you're going to go, go all out. Don't be a nancy and get pineapple on your pizza. Freaks!
I will probably let him have the next ham and pineapple pizza all to himself. (Which I am sure is his master plan.)

The other day he brought home Old Hickory BBQ (we never cook) and as I was enjoying my mutton, I realized what I was consuming. I imagined a sheep on a pasture, eating grass or whatever they eat.......then I looked down at my shredded brown mess on my plate. I was eating a sheep, and it made me sick to my stomach. I'll never touch mutton again. I got a mental image of a sheep in the field, then at slaughter. (Not at a Slaughter concert, even though I think I have heard about some sheep rocking out there, but that may have been a rumor.) I'm telling you, I'm weird with my food.

1 comment:

tat2girl said...

I agree pineapple on pizza sounds nasty..I'm not as picky as you but I am picky about my pizza...and mutton......yuck!!! Dave got me to try it once and it was cold so I heated it up in the microwave...well you've never heated catfood up in the micowave but I have while working for a vet..and that is what it smelled like..i couldn't even stomache the thought of it after that...blahhhhhhh