I miss NERF Basketball

Goooooood Morning!

I know, I'm entirely too cheerful this morning, but I've been up since 4 a.m. so there-you-go. Where I work (yes, I'm at work, shutup) there is absolutely NOBODY around this early. I experience this every time I come in to open. I look down the huge hallways, and it reminds me of "The Shining." If there are ever twin girls dressed in blue in the middle of the hall I would crap myself!!

The dork in me wants to roller skate down the hallways, go up and down elevators zooming around.....it would be the best time ever. As a kid I used to go to the roller skating rink on Wesleyan Park Drive. It was $2.00 to get in for as long as you wanted to stay. There's Skates Alive open now, but it's not the same. It's a hardwood floor, meaning when you make your way to the end of the rink and turn L you are going against the grain and it sucks. Although if you were having a conversation while you were skating, upon reaching this point you do sound like a motorboat, so...it works out. The old rink was CONCRETE! How smart was that? But that's the way it was, and we liked it! We loved it! I was never good at stopping, or doing the hokey pokey. I was the dork when you "do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around" I literally could not turn myself around. I'd be the one going waaaay outside the circle, then upon attempting to stop either falling or grabbing the girl next to me's shirt and taking her down with me. Who would put a brake at the tip of your shoe? I could never grraaaduuuallly come to a stop. It's all or nothing with me. "Where'd Mel go?" "Down here! I'm O-K!"

Then there's the snack bar! You had to go to the snack bar on SKATES!! WHAT? What 7 year old can carry a tray with nachos, blazing hot cheese and a drink....on a slick tile floor on skates??!!! Throw me some balls.....you want me to juggle too, Sparky???!!

Oh no, and to go to the bathroom....don't EVEN get me started on that. You can't sit on those nasty toilets, and since we girls have to wipe, let's just say coordination is NOT one of my strengths, including hand-eye. Damn ramps leading into the bathroom what the holy hell!

Geez, I never knew all of this was inside of me...I never knew I had so much pent up "skating rink" aggression. Thank you readers, thank you.

After yesterdays sneezing fiasco, I thought I was going to end up with a sinus infection. I spent all of last night still sneezing, then my sinuses really began to ache. It's different than just coming down with a 'bug'....I choked on motherfking Crystal mother fking light! I don't know how coke users tolerate it.....why would you WANT to voluntarily put something up your nose? If there is anyone out there who is making a list of things NOT to put up your nose, add crystal light to it. I'm here to help.

With the new year here and gone, everybody is all amped up about their resolutions to lose weight, quit smoking, etc. I made my husband an offer: If I lose 30 pounds, would he quit smoking? He took me up on it, simply because of the probability of me following through on the weight loss is....well, I may surprise everybody on that one. *cough*bullcrap*cough*

I do actually have one that is proving to be more successful, and that's not letting things get to me like I used to. I deal with things as they happen, rather than keeping it in and taking it out later on the wrong people. I was always worried about other people's feelings, but I look at it this way, if you are going to be a douche, I'll douche right back! Douche!

I have a heater underneath my desk turned on all the way to high - the room is cold as crap but my right leg has a huge red spot under my pants. Toasty!

I gave in to my inner child and re-joined Myspace. I hate to say it, it's actually a nice way to keep up with friends. I could give a poop about how pretty my page is, but I love seeing how these thin cheerleaders from school now look like 3rd shift city bus drivers. It was cool, within 2 days I had like, 25 "friends" all from different parts of my life.

**Random stupid joke: What did the prisoner say to his girlfriend? "I'll call you later from my cell."**

I'm off for now - go do something productive, loser!

Ta-ta,

Mel