I want a train in my house just like in Silver Spoons

Ok, it's January and 65 degrees outside. What is this? Texas? I'd love to move to Texas, actually. *Image of Mel in a cowboy hat* How cool would that be? You could end all of your sentences with "wah ha hah"...."Pass me the salt little lady, wah ha hah."
This year has been the weirdest weather for our town. One day you're mowing the grass, the next day you're shoveling your driveway. I love it when it's about 70 and NO humidity. Humidity and curly hair do not get along.

Just a tip - do not leave your makeup where your 2 year old can get ahold of it. I have to admit, it was really cute him attempting to put lipstick on me last night....I'd show you the pic but then I'd have to kill you. There's huge red chunks on my lips, if anything, it looks like I have BAD herpes. HAHA!
Speaking of pictures and little ones, why do parents have to take pictures of everything? "Awwww...it's his first poopy diaper!.....aww, it's the first time she spit up on me!! How cute!" Nicole, a co-worker of mine, told me she has 7,000 pictures of her son in her PC. Not 700. Not 1000. 7,000. How old do you think this child is? 12? Nope. 18 months. When he learns to talk, his first words will be "CHEESE THIS!!"

I dunno if you have caught this story or not, but I found it to be absolutely ridiculous.
This lady who resides in Oregon is a mayor of a small town. She has a myspace page up with racy photos of herself. She says her personal life is "her business." I agree. EXCEPT YOUR A MAYOR OF A SMALL TOWN, MORON!!
To top it off, the pictures of her in her lingerie are on the city's fire truck. This I have a problem with...or can understand why the residents are so upset. She's not even that hot. What the hell?
You choose to be a public servant, and should conduct yourself accordingly. Skank!
Link to story: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,320588,00.html

I cannot imagine being sexy on a fire truck. *Insert hose joke here.*

To be honest, it's hard for me to "try" to be sexy. I can't do it. There's women I'm sure who strip for their man, etc...I, even though I'm sure it would be appreciated, can not. Walking towards him I would trip....I'd have problems unhooking my bra....the music would skip......you name it, it would happen.

You're welcome for the mental imagery, by the way.

That's one of the biggest fears I had about having a baby girl. I am not "foo-foo" at all. I played with my brother's hot wheels as a kid. I had dolls, but I gave them mohawks and moustaches with Sharpies. I am not the woman to come to for fashion and/or makeup tips....I guess if Shelby has questions, I'll have her email her gay cousin in Atlanta. He's so pretty!!

I found out today that a dear friend of mine, Catherine, lost her mother. It's awful. She passed away from a brain aneurysm and she was only 50 years old. Catherine is like me....we constantly sing stupid off the wall songs and laugh at ourselves. Who sings "Hey Santa" by Wilson Phillips in July? Us.

She's expecting her 4th baby in September. I swear, everytime she sneezes a baby pops out. At her shower, I'm going to buy her a diaphragm.

We're under a tornado watch at the moment. I'm not a big fan of thunder and lightning. Or tornadoes, obviously. I remember as a single gal I lived in an apartment next to another single gal....everytime there was a tornado warning we'd always sit in my bathtub until it was over.

(We were clothed, freak.) One night it was awful outside and she came to my door....I'm like, "You want ME to protect you? The thunder just made me wet myself!!"

I guess I'm going to go...I need to move my mattress to the tub.

Hey Santa!!!

Mel