Tears of a Clown LOL

Sitting here in a quiet house before the hubby and kids come home. Went to the OB Doc and actually sat in her office and talked with her, which was nice because that meant she wasn't going to invade my good parts during this visit. I had previously wrote some notes down of certain instances of my hormonal drama, because I can never remember what I want to say until I'm in the car leaving the office. Started to cry (which if you know me, it doesn't take much to make me cry. What has been worrying me though, is I couldn't cry even if I wanted to lately) and was blubbering on about how I felt like I was a crappy wife and I hate for my kids to see me angry. I dont take it out on them, but they're in the same house - they hear more than they should. I've been there, done that, and my kids are not going to go through that.

She told me that I was going through post-partum depression. Huh? That's it??!!

Don't get me wrong, PPD is not fun....but when I think of PPD I imagine a mom who cries non-stop at those "I dont feel fresh" commercials.....I'm not like that. I'm more like "Who moved my drink? WHO moved my god damned drink?? WHAT THE FK!!!" over something absolutely miniscule. I'm talking RAGE. It's awful.

I did tell her that I felt that her nurse was not helpful at all - and it wasn't smart to tell someone whose calling for help to say, "Honey, that's just life!" It very well may be, but I wanted to shove the phone down her throat.

I said, "I just want to see what my hormone levels are!! I just want to see with my own eyes if I'm NORMAL." So, she ordered some labs, even though she said I don't need them, which I appreciate. She said, "Your hormone levels are supposed to go up and down around the time of your period." And I said, "Um, my period isn't ALL MONTH!" I wanted to say, "Who signed these diplomas? Are you certified?"

So, she recommended some stuff and I go back in a month. If I'm not admitted to Psych that is.

That's all I got - thanks for caring.